Lindsey's Rebellion

1. Meeting Nathaniel and Lindsey
   
2. Brian and Lindsey discuss her future
   
3. Lindsey prepares to tell her parents (I accidentally titled this as Day Three at first, so the URL says day-three, even though it's Day Four)

Day Five/Six

 Oops, I forgot to post yesterday. I've been editing my book some more. I'm not sure about where this section leaves things. I don't want it to feel like a random incident in the book, but the larger explanation for it doesn't come until much later. Does it feel out of nowhere to you?
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 Esmeralda opened her eyes the next morning to find she had slept comfortably and soundly. She looked around, but nothing looked different from when she had gone to sleep. She didn’t know what she had been expecting to happen. She was starting to think there was anything to be worried about. ‘All in my head,’ she repeated to herself. Once she was on the path again, she began to relax. She really was doing this. She left Fishery, and she was on her own. 

When she got to the next town, there was about an hour of daylight left. Esmeralda went to the local inn, got a room, and went directly upstairs to relax until tomorrow. She lied on the bed, staring at the ceiling. There wasn’t much to do besides letting the time go by, and think. She went into her bag and pulled out her dinner, some salted meat. ‘I can’t believe this is going to have to pass as my dinner,’ she considered broodingly. She nibbled at it, watching out her window, waiting for the sun to go away so she could sleep and start again the next day. She knew this journey might be dangerous, but she hadn’t considered how boring it’d be at times. 

It wasn’t long before she wanted to check out the town. If she was looking for her siblings, she was going to have to do more than travel and sleep. The only thing to decide was whether she should do more than travel and sleep right now. She was unlikely to find them here, after all. She heard them. They were going to Penance. And they left over a week before she did. Although as Esmeralda questioned herself, she began to see it was because she was worried. The inn felt very sketchy, and the room was not well kept. Eventually, she convinced herself that she should be more adventurous because she wasn’t going to find her brother and sister if she wasn’t brave enough. 

Perhaps it was because she was accustomed to the noises of Fishery, but the town seemed exceptionally quiet. No dogs barking, no chatter. She was also surprised how nice the town looked. They didn’t look expensive, but rather like normal looking cabin type houses with nothing decorative, but nothing wrong either. The inn certainly didn’t reflect this. Perhaps they just don’t like visitors here. It was a tiny place, so it didn’t take her long to see the town. Feeling a bit cheated out of a good walk, and wanting to avoid going back to the inn, she decided to explore a bit more in depth. Esmeralda walked along the large wall at the back of the town. She’d assumed it was to keep out the swamp natives, until she came across a narrow pathway in the middle. For someone who was so worried about leaving the inn, it might seem surprising that the girl never considered the possibility that she might not want to come across whatever was on the other side of the wall, but paths are meant to be followed. The burning curiosity of why this pathway was here and where it lead to pushed out the thoughts of whether or not she wanted to find out.

On the other side of the wall seemed to be the majority of the town, though much more run down. There were many shacks, and even some tents. There were more people around, but they all seemed to only be out in order to get somewhere else. These were probably the people who worked for the people who could afford real houses on the other side of the wall.

As she was reaching the edge of the town (the real edge of town this time), she thought she heard someone yelling. She started walking towards it before her mind had a chance to make a decision. ‘It probably wasn’t even real. I’m sure I just imagined that. It’s just that it’s gotten dark.’ She stopped and started backing away, but she couldn’t stop thinking about it. ‘It’ll make me feel better just to see… I’m sure it’s nothing.’ Unfortunately, as she moved closer, it didn’t go away. It turned into a man, pleading with someone. She couldn’t hear what was being said, just the begging and sobbing of a broken man. Her mind tried to convince her to go back. ‘Pretend you never heard anything. It’s none of your business. He probably deserves it.‘ And yet her feet kept moving forward. She saw the man as he was collapsing to the ground. More importantly was the man standing over him with a sword (or a knife, she wasn’t entirely sure). 

‘RUN. Run now!’ Her feet were ready to obey her now, but didn’t get the message before the man turned around to see her. She ran as fast as she could. He was faster. He tackled her and held her to the ground.

“What did you see?”

“Maybe next time you should do private things in private.” He pulled her head back by the hair and a knife appeared in front of her throat. ‘Shit. I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I’m so stupid. Did I really say that out loud?’ “I…I meant nothing! I heard nothing, I saw nothing! All I meant by it was… if you’re concerned about what I saw, maybe you could benefit from some more, uh… discretion?” This wasn’t going to work, was it?

“Who’s asking about me?”

“I don’t even know who you are!”

“I’m nobody. And who the fuck are you?”

“Just a random girl, I swear! I don’t know anything! I was just coming through town and I thought I’d look around. Please, I’m sorry.”

“Bullshit. No one looks around town. Only two kinds of people come back here. Which kind are you?”

“I—I swear I don’t know! Please. I was just all cooped up in the inn, and went looking around. It was dumb, I know, but please don’t hurt me.”

Esmeralda held her breath as she waited for the man to answer. He was taking his time to consider her story. She closed her eyes, trying to think of any way that the decision of whether she lives or disappears into the afterlife could lie with her instead of this man. But what could she do? She could barely move. So she began begging in her head. Silently praying and begging, to no one in particular, for her life. 

The knife disappeared and Esmeralda was flipped over. The man’s face had clearly been on the wrong side of a blade before. He smiled a revolting smile, took his dirty, bloody hand and gently rubbed her cheek. “That’s okay, beautiful. I understand. You still put me in a bad position, my love. Now, you understand that, don’t you?” She nodded frantically. “It would, however, be a shame for such a beautiful creature to leave this world, especially like this.” A kiss on the cheek. She felt as though she were being kissed by the swamp itself. “Perhaps we can work something out.” Oh, no. No no no. A kiss on the neck. He lingered. She closed her eyes. Was this really happening? ‘Just think. You can get out of this. Maybe I can… God, I can’t breathe. Concentrate on breathing. Just breathe. Am I breathing yet?’ She felt lightheaded, and the last thing she felt before passing out was his hand pressing against her chest.

Day Four

Slow day for writing, good day for personal stuff. :-)

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The next week, Lindsey wrote and rewrote a thousand times what she was going to say to her father. She wanted to write what she would say to her mother if the talk with her father went well, but every time she started, she would find herself going back to rewriting what she would say to her father. For a brief period, she even considered telling her brother first, but she eventually decided her father may not take it well, her entrusting this secret to her eleven year old brother before him. Sadly, she knew he would be the most understanding of them. Her relationship with her other brothers were less solid. She could not remember a time when they actually got along. Despite being the oldest, Lindsey was prone to being picked on by Matthew and, to some extent, Fredrick. They were both physicists, and fit perfectly into the family mold. Nathaniel, with his chemistry, fit in well enough, but he was a lot more like her than they were.

Once Lindsey told her mother she and Brian were going to visit for the weekend, she couldn’t back out. At the last moment she could probably chicken out, and Brian wouldn’t begrudge her too much for that. But she couldn’t risk that. He certainly wasn’t happy when she wasn’t even planning to, he might tell them himself. Would he really do that? Lindsey’s head spinned as she pondered all the possibilities of what could happen over the weekend.

Maybe she should have told him not to come. She could still tell him not to come, and tell her parents there was a work emergency. They would love that. No, no, that wouldn’t help the situation at all. She just had to relax. Brian was right, she needed to tell them. She needed to move her life forward and she couldn’t do that until she told them. Maybe she could tell them they were getting married or having a baby. It would be a surprise, certainly, but a happy one. This was… Every time she went over their reaction in her head, she just couldn’t see it turning out well. Even her father, which was supposed to be the easier parent to talk to. She told Brian this, and he told her she was letting her nerves get to her. The same as when people who are afraid of flying imagine all the different ways it would crash and burn. She just had to stop thinking about it.

She unsuccessfully spent the week trying not to think about it, but the week still passed, as they tend to do, and it was time to go home. As they put their things in the car, Lindsey had a headache, and felt slightly nauseous. Strangely, it made her feel better. It was the same feeling she got every time she had to take a electrical engineering exam, hoping that this time, she would be good enough. As good as the rest of her family. And she remembered now, why she was doing this. So she could be happy. She wouldn’t be happy this weekend, but if she could endure this part, she could have the rest of her life to be happy, to be fulfilled. If she could get through this weekend, it would all be better.

Day Three...Ish.

Didn't get any writing done today, but here's the newer beginning of Esmeralda's story. (I call it that, but I don't really think of it as her story anymore)

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Esmeralda always dreamed of the day she’d leave home. School had taught her the area around Fishery (surrounded on three sides by swamp, the last by water), but studying maps was different from being there. There are small villages periodically through the swamp. These were not originally villages, but outposts for guards to sleep when not on duty, protecting us from the unreformed natives of the swamps. Once out of the swamp, the towns are more scattered. She smiled to herself. Geography was one of the few things she paid attention to in school. Would she live in the heart of the empire, Capitol? Or maybe she’d find a home in a small little village in the forest. But these plans would be years away. Today, Esmeralda’s path would lead her to Penance.

This wasn’t how she was expecting to strike out, but she was doing it. Trying to ignore her nerves, which were coaxing her back home. She didn’t even like her brother and sister. Maybe she could just wait for things to… No, the world outside the city just felt bigger than she had expected, but she could handle this. She had to. She wondered if this would have felt less intimidating had she been more adventurous as a child, like her siblings. Perhaps she should have waited until morning. Probably. Esmeralda turned around, and stared at Fishery. It was inviting in a way she couldn’t have imagined. It was just Fishery, nothing interesting. She had been so glad to be leaving. But it was home, after all. A sigh of relief, and now she was glad to be heading back. She just wasn’t quite ready to leave. Tomorrow morning, she’d pack better. She’d be better prepared. They were already ahead of her anyway.

The decision was made, but just a few steps later, anxiety caught on. If she went back now her mother would know she’d left. She might try to talk her out of it. Or worse, she might not. Esmeralda turned back around and started heading towards Penance. She couldn’t take the risk that her mother might not care what she did or where she went. Especially since it was likely true. 

Once Fishery was out of sight, the path was the only thing she had to keep from being entirely lost. The air seemed to be a thick greenish brown, which she didn’t even realize was possible. The fog made it much darker than she had anticipated, even though the moon was nearly full.

She continued on, although now questioning her sanity in choosing to leave the way she did. She knew from school that Fishery in itself was a great feat of the God King (the God King was the other thing she paid attention for). Traveling to and from Fishery was certainly easier now, but it was generally done with more than one girl who was not even of age yet, alone in the middle of the night. She paused to look around, and then quickened her pace. Esmeralda tried to ignore the swamp and concentrate on the glorious stories of the God King. How he always kept the smartest by his side, and worked with them to figure out how to use the ocean beyond all of this swamp. 

‘The natives simply lived in the swamp, but we were smarter than that. Fishery was a place built half on the swamp, half on the ocean itself, so that we could use the waters and not have to endure the hardships of the swamp. The God King and his best workers built the brick path as they went so that the families could make it through the swamp to live in this great city.’ She was proud to be from Fishery, and to be a part of the Empire.

She loved stories of the God King. That’s how she became friends with Sarah. Their family used to live in Capitol, and when the family they served came to Fishery, they packed up too. They came to town around a year after Esmeralda’s father died. And they had a collection of God King books. Their master had given them the family’s children’s books after the children had grown and left. Sarah and Esmeralda met at the Festival, where Sarah was buried in one of the books, holding onto her mother’s hand, ignoring the festivities. After Esmeralda learned Sarah had such a collection, they began meeting secretly, and reading them to each other.  Esmeralda loved the stories, and loved even more that the subject was taboo in their home. She never found out why they never talked about the God King in their home. There was never a punishment for it because it was never acknowledged as something bad. It was something to be swept under the rug, nothing more, nothing less. 

Esmeralda always assumed that the stories of Fishery and the swamp were exaggerated, like how much of the road the God King himself built, and the vastness of the swamp. While she could say nothing of how many bricks the God King had laid by hand, she now considered “vast” to be an understatement. She had no sense of how far she’d gone or how long she’d been traveling.

She noticed a man in armor walking her way, so she tried to look confident. She had to hide her shaking hands when he asked what she was doing here, late at night, but she had prepared. 

"I know it's late sir. I got word that my cousin is sick in Penance, and they don't know how much time she has left, so I started out as soon as possible." 

He thought about this. Esmeralda thought about all the things that could happen if he didn't believe her. What if he sent her to the Penance prison? That's not the way she wants to get into the city. But they don't send you to prison for little things like this. Do they? What if he thought she was a threat? If he had to "take care" of her? She could be taken down by most people fairly quickly. A trained guard in armor could tear her apart. Before Esmeralda's mind went any further, the guard turned to her and asked if she knew the way. She told him she did, and that she tries to see her cousin as much as she can. In fact, she had just come back from there, having spent the year with her. She had only been back for a month. It was frustrating considering it takes easily twice that long to travel there, but it was her cousin after all. The point was, she was sure she hadn't forgotten it. Esmeralda wasn't sure why she built on the lie. Since she had already tricked him, most of it was fluff. Regardless, he was satisfied with the answer. He asked to look through her bag, but then let her continue on. He was only the first guard she would come across, and she had a pretty good story now.

Was it necessary to lie at all? The guards patrolling the path here wouldn't be concerned with a girl running after her siblings. Especially if they believe her to be an adult. They were here to look out for smugglers and to protect us from the damn natives. The stories of the natives in the Blight are worse than stories of the Penancians. The natives in the colonies supposedly have some respect for the kingdom, but it's better to be safe about things like that.

The first town she came across was right in the middle of the swamp, and it felt like it. The air was thick, slimy, and dank, and the people were no different. ‘They don’t look any different,’ Esmeralda noted. She wanted to assume they were perfectly nice people that were unkempt because it was difficult in the swamp, but she felt no need to find out one way or the other. 

There was a pervasive smell in the inn that seemed like what the swamp would smell like if it had somehow gone bad. The smell of alcohol, amplified by the warm, damp atmosphere was only the start of it. Esmeralda couldn’t even identify most of what she smelled in the cocktail of repugnance in the air. When she walked in, there was a strange man in the corner, staring at her, and another man running the bar. The bartender reminded her of the monster in the children’s book Sarah read to calm her the first time she ran away from home. That story was about the early days, when the God King was just starting to build the kingdom, and a great monster was threatening the people. The God King, of course, fought the monster, and when it was destroyed, he vowed to always protect his people from the evil of the world. It was all very grand. 

She suddenly felt very aware that she was not in Fishery anymore. She could feel her heart beating, and had a brief thought of getting home on fumes and adrenaline. She told herself to keep going. There was nothing she could do in Fishery. Everything was towards Penance. And from what she’d heard about Penance, Esmeralda was wondering if she’d ever feel safe again.

But nobody had harassed her. Nobody had even talked to her, or even come near her. She let the weirdness of this new place get to her. She marched up to the bar, determined to be cheerful and friendly, and asked for a room. Looking at the man again, a bit more calmly, she realized that he looked nothing like the monster. He was not, by any measure, an attractive man, but not monster-like. She grabbed the key and headed to her room. She still felt a bit spooked by this place, but she was exhausted. All she could do now was close her eyes and hope nothing gets into her room while she sleeps.

Day Two

Brian, Lindsey’s boyfriend, had introduced her to AMW, the Association for Misplaced Workers. It was still a relatively small group, but it was already making waves. They were trying to convince companies to become friendly to misplaced workers, to consider hires that have not been working their careers their whole lives. Lindsey, who had grown more and more sure that she was meant for marketing, not electrical engineering, stepped up to become a marketer.

Because the association had been trying to convince companies that they would not be taking lesser workers, they require those that go to them for help to first prove their worth at their destined career. Lindsey had convinced them so well, that they wanted her to be the face for their cause. Lindsey wanted to be thrilled to help out in this way, but it wasn’t that easy.

“What do you have to think about? This is perfect for you!” Brian was pacing. He always paced when he was frustrated.

“Sit down with me and calm down.” Lindsey’s mind was racing, and unlike Brian, she had to sit down to keep from getting motion sickness.

“First tell me why you won’t do it.”

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t do it. I said I’d have to think about it. It’s not an easy decision.”

“You’re helping bring a face, a story to a cause we both care about. Isn’t it important to you? Wouldn’t you like to be doing what you were meant to do with your life?”

“It’s just that… my parents.”

“What about them?”

“I’ve never done anything against them.”

“This isn’t about them. This is for you. For your well-being, and maybe for a better society. If they love you, they should understand, and if they don’t, maybe they don’t love—”

“Brian! How can you say that? Of course they love me! They’re stubborn, but they love me.”

Brian softened his tone. He wasn’t sure he’d ever heard Lindsey yell before. “I’m just saying, I bet they would understand. You don’t know what they’ll do.”

“I’ve already tested the waters. It won’t work.”

“It might be different when they know it’s you.”

Since Brian had first told Lindsey about AMW a month ago, Lindsey started slipping the subject into phone calls, saying they were starting to make the news out where she was. It had actually been making the news nationally, and her parents, especially her mother, agreed with the dissenters.

The dissenters’ opinion was that people being able to change careers would lead to a collapse of the system, and society. Not only would you have the social sphere of the careers bursting, you would have mass numbers of people doing nothing, constantly reconsidering what they want to do. They’re trying to infect society with this idea that maybe we can just try things out, and never get any work done. Trying to make individuals question their life path. Even if there did happen a few people in the wrong career, it was best to keep it the way it is, for the good of the whole. It might even slide into people trying to start careers they weren’t even good at? How could we prevent such a thing if they let this go on? And that was even before the talk of disrespecting your parents who, in your best interest, chose that career for you.

“Brian, I can’t. I don’t want them to think they’re bad parents.”

“If you know they love you, I’m sure they know you love them.”

“But they’re still going to think I’m telling them they made a mistake.”

“Well…maybe they did.”

“It wasn’t a mistake, they just didn’t know. But they won’t be able to see that. They’ll think they didn’t look hard enough, but there are a lot of things people can be, and just because they didn’t find the right one, doesn’t mean they didn’t look. I mean, everybody else in my family is a scientist, why would they look anywhere else?”

“You could tell them that, you know. I’m not the person you should be trying to convince.”

“Yeah, yeah, I should tell them.” Lindsey stared down at her hands and fidgeted.

“What are you thinking, Linds?”

“Well, maybe I don’t have to tell them. I mean, I could take the offer, and they could find out when it’s necessary.”

“So, you want to wait until they find out from the news, or worse, from their friends? I love you, Linds, but do I really need to tell you why that’s a bad idea?”

“Yes, but it’s a good idea because I don’t have to…” Lindsey sharply exhaled in annoyance, but conceded. “Fine, I’ll talk to them. To my dad first. I have to talk to my dad first.”

“When?”

“Um, soon?”

“Soon as in, later tonight, or as in, a month from now?”

Lindsey bit her lip, “A month from now sounds good…” Brian stared at her, “But I think a week from now sounds even better?”

“Say it without the question.”

“A week. A week from now sounds good. Umm, perfect! Yes, a week from now sounds perfect. I have time to prepare, and I can go home for the weekend, so I can say it in person, not over the phone, although I’ll have to check to make sure dad isn’t helping Fredrick get settled into school… Can you come with me?”

“Actually, I thought I’d leave you to struggle through this on your own.” He grinned. “Don’t worry, I’ll come with you.”

Day One

“Are you ready for school, dear?”

Nathaniel stared at his cereal.

“Come on, Nathaniel, eat your breakfast. I don’t want you to be late, and I don’t want to be late for work.”

Nathaniel’s mother scurried around trying to get everything ready. She’d sworn she hadn’t left this much to do the morning of. She had spent so much of her energy this past week getting Fredrick, one of her other children, ready to go off to his boarding school that some of the more regular chores fell by the wayside.

“Mom?”

“Yes, sweetheart, what is it?”

“Why does Fredrick get to go away to school?”

She ruffled the hair on his head playfully as she tried to remember if she had everything. “What, you don’t like spending time with your mother anymore?”

“That’s not what I meant, Mom. I just want to go study too. Why can’t I go to that chemist school you went to?”

“You are going to that chemist school I went to. You have to graduate from there first, love, before you can go to the chemist boarding school I went to.”

“But that’s not until I’m sixteen! Why do physics student get to go at fourteen? It’s not fair!”

“I don’t know, it’s just what physicists decided on. It’s not fair, but that’s the way it is. You’ll go when you’re sixteen. And trust me, you’ll fit in a lot better that way. Physicists’ brains work a bit differently than chemists’ brains, and based on that, those were the ages that were decided on. You can understand that, right?”

Nathaniel folded his arms and slumped down in his chair. “It’s still not fair.”

“You’ll forget about it as soon as you’re deep into your labs. Are you going to finish your breakfast? You want to graduate with honors, don’t you?”

That motivator worked every time. Nathaniel scarfed down his breakfast, grabbed his bag, and was out the door. His mother would never say it, but Nathaniel was her favorite child. Not by a lot, of course, but it was hard to overlook the fact that he took after her.

“So, what are you going to be working on today?”

He scoffed, “I don’t know, Mom. Stuff.”

“I’m sorry, I was just trying to help you get excited about your day.”

“Mom. I don’t need to be excited, this is what I want to do. I just don’t want you bugging me about it. This is why I want to go away for school.”

“Talk about eleven going on seventeen. What’s got you so grumpy this morning?”

But Nathaniel had decided he wasn’t talking anymore, and all she got from him was a “Hmph.”

“Fine, fine, I won’t bother you.” Poor boy. She knew it must be hard being the youngest, when your older siblings are out of the nest, doing what must be very exciting things. She expected he would be much happier when he got home from school.

Although it may appear that Nathaniel was going to a particularly specialized school, this is a different sort of culture. In fact, these were a different sort of people. They are similar to the kind we know personally, but with a lower level of indecision and a higher level of stability of self. In other words, these people are not the type to change majors three times and still not know what they’re doing with their lives. The parents observe their children until a suitable occupation becomes clear, and after a quick diagnostic test, are placed in school to pursue that career. At each school, there are three types of classes. Those directly related to your chosen path, those indirectly related, and for some students, life skills. It’s not a shame to require these classes. The most highly honored students are, depending on the field, often in such classes. It can be seen as a sign that you have so strongly devoted yourself to your path that other life skills have become secondary at best.

Nathaniel, of course, was enrolled in these classes. Surprising no one, he was one of the most promising students. His mother was a leader in the field of chemistry, and everyone always said he was just like her. His father was a formidable physicist in his own right, but not quite the famous figure his mother was. It did however, surprise his teachers to find out that he actually enjoyed these classes quite a bit. To most of the students, they seemed to be tiresome classes that they had been told were necessary. Nathaniel particularly liked his class on people in other fields. Not that he wanted to be anything but a chemist, but he loved to hear about all the other people of the world. They were so different from him. He didn’t understand it, but he wanted to learn how to relate to them, so he could meet them, and maybe become their friends. His classmates weren’t interested in becoming friends with non-chemists. Why would they want to be friends with other sorts of people?

Nathaniel’s teachers were beginning to suspect that he would make a superb chemistry teacher. He could even be the best, considering most of them were either in school to be teachers and found to be at least average at chemistry, or the other way around. Nathaniel looked to be one of the rare children that were exceptional at two paths in life.

Nathaniel’s mother, however, believed that the teachers who had assessed this simply did not understand how brilliant he was at chemistry. This was certainly true, but they suspected it had more to do with not wanting to admit that he may not be a researcher like her. Like all mothers, she wanted the best for him, and didn’t see what he could get out of being a teacher. After all, he told her time and time again how much he wanted to be a chemist, and being a chemistry teacher was not being a chemist. The teachers, in the end, dropped it, and hoped Nathaniel would come to this on his own. For his part, Nathaniel… actually, Nathaniel was not a part of this conversation. He didn’t even know there was a conversation.

He and his best friends, Mike and Finn, didn’t give much thought to the goings on of their teachers and parents. In their free time, they pretended they were going to become mad scientists like they saw in the movies, which generally consisted of doing experiments or side projects and cackling loudly at random intervals, claiming their experiment would destroy the world. It was a treasured pastime that had been going on since they met at age six.

One time, Nathaniel’s mother stopped and asked if they wanted to know what girl chemists do to play. She had a headache, and was hoping to quiet them down. The headache clouded her judgement on what actually would quiet them down. They quickly chided her, telling her that girls were dumb, and they didn’t want anything to do with them or their games.

“Nathaniel, you know plenty of intelligent girls.”

“You don’t count and Lindsey is...”

“Your sister is not dumb!” Lindsey was his 24 year old sister, an electrical engineer. She wasn’t as gifted as the rest of the family. It was a touchy subject, especially for Mother, who always wanted a genius girl, but instead got Lindsey and then three boys. Lindsey was by no means bad at electrical engineering, but the bar was high in this family.

“Lindsey’s different. She knows how to do fun things. And she has an awesome boyfriend.” (As a side note, sexual maturation occurs in these people at around age 20 on average, a bit older than us.)

“Oh, I see. I’ll leave you to your experiments then.”

Lindsey, was, like her baby brother, interested in other people, non electrical engineers in her case. Unlike her baby brother, and unbeknownst to her parents, she didn’t feel she was properly placed as a child. When she was younger, she didn’t feel like she fit in, and as she got older she came to believe that her best was just not as good as they thought it would be. It wasn’t until she got out into the world that she began to question that. She moved out, got a job, and started interacting from time to time with other people. She began to become friends with people in marketing, which was not uncommon by this age. She started to find schoolbooks on the subject. When she began to show an interest in her friend’s work, they began to feel uneasy with their friendship.

She soon found other ways to meet marketers, people outside her job who wouldn’t know her, or that she was actually an electrical engineer. She wasn’t at their level, but it was clear to her that she was born to do this. For the past four years, she had lead a double life as a marketer and an engineer. She would work with her friends, helping them with their work, and making up scenarios for them to help with. There were no laws about company secrets, there was just a code, which each career type had. Here, it was very easy to blacklist someone, and if someone was blacklisted, they had no career. There was no way to change careers halfway through your life, so being blacklisted meant you had lost your means to live, and had to rely entirely on someone else. The warnings came down through every school in the country. The few that did break the code had no friends, no job, no life. It was well known that if you broke the code, you would be miserable for the rest of your life.

Lindsey felt pretty content with her life as it was. She wished she could change jobs, but there was no path for her to take. It wasn’t until she met her boyfriend that she began to reconsider that. Lindsey’s boyfriend was an advocate for the ability to change your career. He was placed correctly (an astronomer), but he’d seen other people struggle with being placed into the wrong career when they were young. It was not acceptable in society to see it as the “wrong” career, but he wanted to change that. People beginning to find their calling. People whose parents didn’t see their true potential. Lindsey’s parents, of course, didn’t know any of this.

An Experiment

I am starting an experiment. No, it doesn't have controls and it's not going to be highly scientific. Still, I hope it will be valuable. It is largely for myself, but you are certainly welcome to observe. Not that I welcome you selflessly. Like everyone else, I want people to be interested in what I am doing. Plus I would love critiques and feedback if you're willing to give them. But I am getting ahead of myself. I haven’t even said what the experiment is.

The experiment is to set and enforce a deadline for myself, and to let my writing loose in the outside world (well, the internet world). I want to get into the habit of writing fiction everyday. And I want to get into the habit of feeling as though my writing is acceptable for public consumption. It will be rough and unedited, but it will be out there for you to read. I’ve read many rarely updated webcomics, so I recognize that this could easily fail, but I’d like to give it a shot. I also know it’s unlikely this will spread very far, but again, willing to try.

I was thinking about worse case scenarios, and honestly, I think the worst case is that I don’t go through with this and nothing changes. Setting forth with the experiment mindset really makes me feel much better about the whole concept. The point is discovery, so even if I find out I’m really awful at this, it’ll hurt, but hopefully that will lead me to something better.

Today’s post is not part of the experiment per se. It is for working out the guidelines for this experiment. Goals, rules, etc. So, in the wonderful glory of the classic bulleted list, let’s see what I can come up with.

• This is only for the weekdays (for now).
• I will set a deadline for the evening, by which I will post what I’ve written that day.
• The deadline will be at 8: after I generally stop working so I don’t have to rush to finish it up, but not too late, lest I start to believe I can post after the evening activities.
• There will always be something to post.
• If I do not have an acceptable amount of work by the deadline, I will post what I have, along with a piece of the novel I’ve been working on as a fallback. (I don’t want this to be something that feels okay to do, but I also want to make sure I post everyday, and this seems like the lesser transgression against this experiment.)
• If I have been working on the novel, I will post the next part of that story, rather than skipping ahead.
• I may not finish the stories I write.
• I will likely have multiple stories going on at once.
• Some of them will undoubtedly be awful. That’s fine.
• I will try to work on stories people tell me they enjoy and/or give me feedback on.
• I want to keep a list of all the stories, especially those that go past the first day of writing.
• Unless I am dreadfully sick or there is a true emergency, days off will be indicated at least a week ahead of time.

Okay, this seems like a good enough list. I don’t want this to get too complex. I assume the specifics of this plan will morph over time, but for now, these are the rules.

Oh, and about the novel I’ve been working on, the first few posts of this blog are from that if you’d like to take a look. I am planning to repost then when the time comes, so you could even compare them if for some reason you get the urge to do so. (And if you do, please tell me what you think!)